Monthly Archives: August 2013

Dr. Studylove

Or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Exam.

If you have no idea what that is referencing you should brush up on your classic films. There will be a quiz on it next post.

Hope you are all ready for a post that has nothing to do with weddings!

Jess and I have not really had a close, as in proximity, relationship. We have gone from Kansas City/Cleveland, to a few months being around each other, right back to what might be worse than Kansas City’s distance. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a short hour and a half drive away, but the lack of time together, over the phone or skype, has been hard to deal with and I am torn over my feelings on this.

On one hand I am hurt and jealous. I get such a minuscule amount of Jess’s time. I had become accustom to being able to reach her at any moment and that is no longer the case. Between classes, lab time, and study time, I am resigned to mere moments a day and even when I am with her for the weekends I am generally sitting in a study room with her and several others until all hours of the night listening to them prattle on about bones and arteries and other boring stuff. To put it plainly, I feel neglected… Seriously, it is really boring stuff and she doesn’t even bring me good snacks…

But! The other hand! Now the other hand! I know that everything Jess is learning is going to help her succeed. I know that I am sacrificing some time with her now in the hopes that we will have a life together that we will get much more time together. I have the privilege of being one of her closest and strongest supporters. On a more selfish note, I have a whole lot of time to do whatever I want! Which, at this point, is prepare for the GRE and GMAT. After early November I am not sure what I will look to for self betterment, but I am sure I will find something. Maybe I can finally get that ukulele I was wanting…

This weekend was a bit of a breaking point for me. I have spent the past couple weeks being dejected and offended and this culminated in me expressing my dissatisfaction, albeit not well. When I first started having these feelings it was along the lines of, “she never makes time for me” or “I hate that I can never reach her”. I focused on her and that was not the right stance to take. It took some serious introspection and self examination while driving to my client’s site on Sunday for me to really understand what I was feeling. I know that things are not perfect now, nor will they ever be, but that does not mean I can’t make the best of the situation.

One of the big things that I had forgotten was that I need to trust in God. I would not be here, in the position I am in, with the wonderful woman I am with, or with all the blessing I have without Him. There are multitudes of reasons why I should be thanking Him and praising him, but my vision gets too cloudy some times. I get tied up on what’s going on around me and what I want to have happen and forget that it isn’t up to me.

The moral of the story: Medical school is hard on both people in a relationship for different reasons. If you are in my position, keep loving them and get busy with your own interests, even if you have to do it in a study room on campus. If you are on the other side, don’t forget you have a significant other.

Now that We are a Few Weeks in

So here we are a few weeks into medical school and I think I am getting into a rhythm with Jess and her schedule.

Monday night through Friday afternoon I lead this dreary existence filled with molting rabbits, dirty dishes, and inadequate amounts of sunlight. Loneliness consumes me while I wade through another seemingly endless week. My zest for life dwindles until I happen upon the glorious appearance of Friday night. As I painstakingly navigate the nauseating curves and tremendous hills on the country roads I steadily grow more jubilant. With the knowledge of what trophy awaits me how could I not? Who wouldn’t be overjoyed by a weekend full of the love of their life?!

“Full” could be the incorrect term here. Maybe, “A weekend in the company of the woman who is too busy ‘becoming a doctor’ to play Call of Duty with me.” That’s better. 🙂 In all honesty, it is interesting to see the degree that our relationship has changed. Essentially it has reverted to near identical way it was while I was in KC and she was studying for the MCAT. The convenience of weekends is a total blessing but the weeks are 15 minute talks here and there while she learns her life away. No real complaints here. Gives me time to focus on my goals.

One of which, before the ever increasing pressure from a certain unnamed fiance, was to get a Master’s degree (or Doctorate if she has her way). So I decided it was time to get my act together and after years of shoulda, woulda, coulda, I am taking the GRE and GMAT. I won’t be able to start the Master’s in Public Health program I found until at least next summer, but I have the months between to work on my applications to business school. Yay for that one!

On to the wedding stuff! I have started scheduling cake tastings for the end of the month! How awesome is that? You go eat cake. Really think about this. Someone makes cake for you to eat and has to listen to why you do or do not think it is good enough to be a part of a day that you will remember the rest of your life. I don’t even like cake that much and I am excited for this.

I think the biggest things left on my list are a limo and videographer and I am looking forward to booking neither one of them. I accidentally told my wallet how much the couple quotes I got were and I swear it let out a whimper. Maybe I will just write a phone app that lets everyone video the wedding and compiles the videos… And suddenly a position opened for an app developer at a startup I am founding.

Oh and groomsmen. I need to add them to the list of things to get too. If you know of any upstanding gentleman who like a good party and are free in just under a year let me know.

PostScript: A note on the rabbits I mentioned at the top – If you have any need for rabbit fur let me know. They are shedding and I have a very large amount of it sitting, floating, collecting around my place. Don’t tell Jess. She hates when the buns make a mess.