Tag Archives: Wedding

The First Night of Many

I want to start this post by saying that this one is a bit heavier than my others. That being the case, Jess feels slightly uncomfortable with my topic, but it’s something that I want to address because it is a part of our relationship. As many of you may or may not know Jess and I were “living” together for the past few months. We found that our situation was rather unique when it came to a Christian perspective.

Generally, the idea of living together and “sleeping” together go hand-in-hand and that was something we did not do. I spent most of my nights on the couch while she got to enjoy the full comforts of the bed. (Don’t read that as disappointment. My couch is criminally comfy and it helped me to stabilize my then sprained ankle.) She and I both spent a considerable amount of time in prayer over this and more than once almost said it was time for her to move out for varying reasons.

Generally people move in together for a few reasons:

  1. Save money
  2. Sex
  3. Convenience
  4. Marriage (I suppose this could be considered a summation of all 3.)

We were together purely for #3 for several reasons. Allow me to debunk all of the reasons for a second and I’ll get to why we lived together.

I moved back to Ohio with the intentions of being close to Jess. I knew that a long distance relationship is no way to be with a med student and, frankly, I did not like it. And while my job did provide a significant amount of the moving money, it was an investment on my part to move back here. Flights, gas, deposits, time, etc., there was no getting around it costing me money. We would have been saving money if, for instance, I was moving across town to live with Jess or if she was able to contribute more to living here financially. [She’s going to get angry at that line because I always rib her about her not paying as much as I do. (I love you, Sweetheart. That’s not the point I’m making now.)] The way we were living was more akin to a single income situation, so there goes the saving money part. Jess was making some money as a substitute teacher both in her hometown and here, but I wanted her to save it all for her school expenses so other than groceries she was not spending anything on our apartment.

To gloss over #2, we were not, and still are not having sex. The people that live together for this reason are likely not Christians so my reasoning does not apply to them and if they are, they should take a serious look into their beliefs, e.g. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. I will be the first to say that no part of that is easy, but if you are in a similar situation look to our example and find strength.

That brings me to #3 and #4. I think that most couples in today’s culture see living together as a precursor to marriage. As in, “Well I’m going to see how he/she acts and respond accordingly with my decision to pursue a “lifelong” relationship with him/her.” Where the fallacious truth rears its head is right there in that assumption. If you aren’t married, it is not like marriage. I think this situation can go two ways. Either both parties are constantly on their best behavior so nothing is learned about how they will act or they act in accordance with their selfish nature and they turn the other off to marriage because they too are selfish.

We were lucky. Very lucky. It is excruciatingly hard to see your own selfishness in a bubble like that.  I cannot speak for her, but I have had a lot of trouble adjusting my life into the reality that she has come to expect. But, knowing that our end goal was marriage, I changed my attitude. But I am not taking sole credit here! We have both grown in our relationship because we are moving toward marriage and desire to make each other happy.

So now to the point of this post: Jess has moved out and last night was the first of many lonely nights. She starts school on Monday so all our time until the wedding will be spent there. I did not expect the drain on my heart to be as great as it is and I know that I will miss her terribly. Not only are we going back to being long distance, but I am losing the close connection to my best friend. My near permanent evening fixture has up and left me to become a doctor and here I am with a bag of bbq chips to drown my sorrows. 🙂 I cannot imagine the heartache that one must feel when this occurs with a couple that has a relationship based on more physical premises.

On to brighter subjects, since I have more free time, both from work and fiancé-type commitments, I should be writing more often. One of the first things I’ll be writing about is our caterer.

That’s all I’ve got. Thanks for reading today’s update!

The countdown is on!

 

We are both so excited! Less than a year until the big day!

Not a whole lot new on the planning front. We got everything out of the way so quickly that all we have left is to make deposits places. And since Jess starts school in 2 weeks, we are trying to wrap up as much up as we can.

We are both a little bummed that she is starting so soon because for the past 4 months we’ve been able to be together nearly all the time. We have both had similar thoughts concerning her involvement with her studies vs. her involvement with me. For me it boils down to the fact that if we could make 800 miles work for a year and a half, we darn well better make 40 miles for two years no matter how much time we get together! (I’m going to ignore the years she isn’t in Athens for now. :)) We only saw each other once a month, maybe, so why would an hour drive be worse?

This coming week should be a nice retreat as I am being sent to Chicago for work and Jess is riding along. I’ll be working a lot, but we will have the evenings and she is going to be putting together things for the wedding. After that we have the 4th with my family and the 6th with hers. (And we meet with the caterer!)

I’m hoping to get a few more updates out this week. They have been a little sparse because I’ve started writing about 5 posts and not been able to finish any of them. I’m trying to do the good thing and have sources and real thought behind the ideas I’ve been having so please hang tight. Weaving literary masterpieces takes time.

On more technical fronts, I’ve started figuring out a whole lot of the word press platform so my blog will probably be changing shape soon. If you’ll notice on the top-right content bar there is a link to the Facebook page I created to go along with this. If you like it you won’t miss any updates and you can give me suggestions on things to write about there. 

Alive Part 2

The Alive festival was a blast!

We had spent the entire morning running errands in Amish country and getting my brakes fixed (rotors too… geesh expensive) so we were running a little late. Much to Pouty-Face McGee’s delight, we found a close enough spot to run right in and see Sidewalk Prophets start their set. The whole drive out she was worried we would be late. Fortunately for her, I have been to these kinds of festivals before and I know that rarely will people start when they are supposed to.

After Sidewalk Prophets we listened to a Q&A with Audio Adrenaline. I really like these guys because of their devotion and ministry for children. After their Q&A they played on the main stage. Here’s my favorite one of their songs:

After they played we listened to Tony Nolan and what a powerful speaker he is! His testimony was inspiring. He talked about his abuse growing up and how he came to Christ. After he gave his story he got the whole crowd up and praying. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed. Thousands in prayer. People confessing and accepting Christ for the first time. Whoa! It was moving.

Then it was time for Matthew West! He was awesome! Jess wasn’t as big a fan as me before, but I think she is even bigger now. He puts on such a great show. This was my favorite part of the whole night:

Jess took that video so you can all thank her for that bit of fun.

Quick update on wedding news: We found a church! We may have a pastor! I really think that all we have left to do is get her dress. I’ll be writing up more on the church soon!

Alive Festival

Not a big update today. Jess and I are visiting churches in the area to find the one the ceremony will take place in. We’ve already narrowed it down, but who knows what’s available. We are also well on our way to getting a DJ and ceremony music. More on both of those later!

We are also going to the Alive music festival, which I am very excited about! I am most excited for Audio Adrenaline, Sidewalk Prophets, and Matthew West. If you’ve never heard Sidewalk Prophets check this out:

Pretty cool right? They are Jess’ favorite. 🙂 I’ll let you know how the day goes!

Backyard Vineyards

We Booked A Reception Venue

On Monday I had a long post typed out and was going to publish it before we left for the afternoon to go look at like 5 venues. Then Amish country happened…

What can only be described as a “God Thing” happened on the way to a thrift shop in Amish country. We had pulled over to scope out a nature conservatory and were driving up the old country roads when both Jess and I turned and saw a huge barn at the top of the hill. At the same moment we both say, “What was that?!”

It turns out that it’s a vineyard and barn that is being converted from an old amphitheater. We end up talking to one of the workers fixing it up and get the name of the person in charge of renting it out. Without even stepping inside we know it’s the place.

We meet the woman at the winery and she gives us all the details. Now, we had been looking at places that were pricey and I mean whoa-buddy-that’s-for-one-night-not-even-a-full-twenty-four-hours-no-thank-you pricey. Not only is this place gorgeous, the price is right. I can assure you that once we left, Jess and I sat down and prayed to thank God for this one. I feel like he is blessing our engagement/marriage at every turn.

Sorry to cut this short but I don’t want to get ahead of myself and I don’t want to give any details Jess doesn’t want spilled so I’ll just leave you with a couple pictures she took.

Inside the barn

Inside the barn

 

Inside the barn from the stairs

Inside the barn from the stairs